December 31, 2012

Toward The Light

Today is just another day, and yet it is the ending of one year, full of the last brief hours before another one arrives, and with it, so much mystery. I've always liked days like this. The inherent reflection and looking forward, the purpose in the pauses. This year, though, I feel more desire to be than scan, to see how fully I can embody this moment, and then the next, and then the next. To be quiet and still. To feel my heart beating, the liquid in my veins, the breath flooding into the tips of my fingers. To live, simply.

We have a thin covering of snow on the ground this morning--pockets of brown earth poking through--and the sky is brilliantly blue. The air is crisp and icy. Branches hang bare. Deer tracks reveal night visitors. A train moves in the distance. In the distance, friends move into new jobs and new relationships and old patterns and ripe laughter. In the kitchen, my husband brews coffee. In the next bedroom, my nephew stirs. Inside my body, among my muscles and organs and breath, an unborn child pushes up against my hand, whispers for the thousandth time a soundless hello. I whisper back. I whisper back with the sounds of my heart. Even in these deep winter days edged so closely in darkness I am light shooting up and shooting down and full of light full of lightness full.

What lies ahead? Dear God. So much that quivers in eagerness. But may I stay in this moment, and then the next, and then the next, so that when the day comes that is the day that is the light that is the now, I am ready, I am beating, never before will I have been more me.



May your new year be full of brightness, friends. Welcome 2013!

33 comments:

  1. Oh, Emily, as always your words move and inspire. What a wonderful year 2013 will be for you and your husband, welcoming your child.

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    1. I go back and forth between being nervous and excited, hesitant and thrilled. I'm certain, though, that 2013 will be one I will never ever ever ever forget. And yes: full of wonder, full of wonderful.

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  2. Bright days are ahead. I feel it in my bones, and in your words. All the best to you and your family in the new year!

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    1. Same to you, Erin! Let the light bounce off the snow from the canyon to the prairie!

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  3. Emily:

    Thank you for the gentle reminder to live in the moment. God bless your family now, and as it grows into three. Live each day as if life is a blessing.

    Gratefully,

    Richard

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    1. Thank you, Richard. I will certainly try. I wish the best for your family, as well!

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  4. Yes, may we all remember to live in the moment, to savor each and every one, and to anticipate the next with joy!

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    1. JOY! Now, right there might be my theme word for 2013. :)

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  5. Beautiful words! I also want to be present in this new year - as much as I possibly can.

    Happy New Year!

    xo
    cortnie

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    1. You, too, Cortnie! Sometimes just noticing my breath going in and coming out is enough to find calm. I hope your 2013 is full of just the right mix.

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  6. Your words of wisdom, and you are wise beyond your years, remind me of "Be Here Now", a movement (and book) by Baba Ram Dass (Richard Alpert) who basically professed what you say here. Still, and always will be, true!

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    1. Believe it or not, "Be here now" is the quote I write on my school white board at the beginning of every year! Such an important sentiment. Hope you find moments of quiet presence this January, and every month after, Bill!

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  7. So much wisdom, and such contentment. While others encourage breathless reflection on the past (What did you accomplish in 2012?!) and most recommend teeth-clenching resolve (This year, you are going to KEEP those resolutions!) there's something both soothing and true in hearing only the whispers of life, growing.

    It's a new year. There's a new light. Shine.

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    1. I usually am one of those breathlessly reflective people, but this year, this particular focus felt right. Yours is a lovely comment. I hope your new year is full of light, as well, Linda.

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  8. What lies ahead in the new year?
    I think you a right- if we can live more simply, what lies ahead at least will not be so complicated.
    All the best to you and your family in 2013!

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    1. Agreed, Peter. Simplicity! I've recently been reading "Simplicity Parenting," and its sentiments echo along all avenues of what I'd like my life to be like. All best to you, too!

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  9. this will such an exciting year for you. such a beautiful post. i always love coming here and seeing what you've written. happy 2013!

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    1. Thank you, Kelton. I hope 2013 is full of many exciting things for you, too. Maybe another poetry workshop? :)

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  10. Beautiful Emily. Absolutely beautiful. As are you. I love you. :)

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    1. Oh, Lisa: love you right back! Toward a year of human BEings.

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  11. Wonderful reflection. You, your baby, and your husband can only benefit from such an approach to life and living.

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    1. The other day I sat quietly trying to mediate in a yoga class, but my mind refused to still, so my goal of being in the moment is certainly not easy or anything I have a good handle on, but I'll keep trying. Especially in a world that is so loud and so busy. Especially when time moves so quickly, and each day is so precious.

      Thanks for reading, Mary! May 2013 bring you many good things.

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  12. A beautiful post to mark the closing of the year, Emily. And one so ecstatic in the simplicity of being, of paying attention and honouring the moment that "quivers in eagerness."

    Wishing you all the very best this year, a joyful and creative beginning to motherhood. And that these lovely words of yours continue to spring forth, so that we can share in the wonder and delight.

    Cheers,
    Julian

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    1. Thank you, Julian. I am very curious to see what motherhood does to my writing. I'm expecting it to slow down even more so than what has happened with my pregnancy, but... maybe not. I did just move my stack of poetry books to the nightstand in the baby's room. What better words are there to soothe?

      Hope 2013 is full of highlights for you, as well. I do believe you have some exciting moments ahead!

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  13. Wow. I love this post. I love how you played with your words and syntax too - "I am light shooting up and shooting down and full of light full of lightness full" and "when the day comes that is the day that is the light that is the now, I am ready..."

    Also, really nice photograph. Hope all is well, happy new year!

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    1. Thanks, Lisa. Lately my favorite sentences come to me when I close my eyes.

      Happy 2013 to you, too! I'm seeing all kinds of outdoorsy adventures in your future. :)

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  14. Gorgeous photo! The light is hitting the snowflakes perfects to see the details. Especially on the one hanging off the edge towards the left. Love it!

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    1. One of my favorite winter photos for just that reason. I love it when something as simple as a snowflake cooperates. :) Thanks for commenting, Virginia!

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  15. You have captured some really beautiful light in that image. I wish you all the best for the new year, Emily.

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    1. Thank you. Light makes a photograph, doesn't it? Hope you have a wonderful 2013, as well, Munchow!

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  16. Replies
    1. Thanks for the sweet comments, Woodbird and SPD. Warm greetings to you both!

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